The real reason you're struggling with boundaries

WHAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND WHAT YOU FEEL TO BE TRUE CAN BE TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS.

Here’s a personal example:

• I believe that women shouldn’t martyr themselves for their children.

• I believe that a mother can nurture a child and a business at the same time.

• I believe that asking and accepting help and support is a strength and that it takes a village to raise a child.

• I believe having something outside of mothering is paramount to your mental well-being.

And yet….

I feel guilty when someone else looks after my child, even his dad.

I feel icky asking family who actively want to help for that help so I can work on and in my business.

I feel shame when I could be perceived by outsiders as not giving enough to my baby.

I feel guilty for enjoying working on and in my business when my baby is existing downstairs without me.

What my logical brain thinks and what my emotive brain feels are two very different things, and they’re having a battle royale in my head and in my body.

Why are they so different?

Maybe something to do with the narratives around business owners and motherhood that I’ve been absorbing since birth.

Maybe something to do with how I’ve processed and perceived who and how I am in the world.

Maybe something to do with generational guilt that’s been passed down woman to woman almost by osmosis stemming from the tension of doing what you need and being who others want.

And that battle, ironically, is taking time and energy away from both my baby and my business.

The inner work never stops. We can create businesses that support us in structure and sustainability. But we have to keep working on ourselves too.

And this is not just about motherhood. If you’ve been socialised as female I would put money on you feeling the same way with a different focus.

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